REshape Academy

The Fap procrastination

I Personal start to do that intercourse with my right hand when I was 6 Years old or so.

But the core is even deeper...

When I was 3 or even less, I do vaguely remember how my parents were working in town and I was with my grandparents at there home.

One day I believe it was one of those far relatives arrived and they had a teenage boy who was like 18 years or so. I vaguely remembered how he actually played with me and said something between the lines … let us play that game…

I do remember just how I was lying on the couch on my back, and he puts the pillow on my face and went down on mine. when I tried to watch what is he doing and could see a glimpse of that haed was close to it

I was wondering what it was… and afterward, I remember that it was really hard to piss. Since I was a toddler I do just remember that feeling afterward. Which made the first milestone into the “fap addiction”.

Years have past and I have moved to Germany. There I remember that another “fried” with who we played a lot one day also sucked on my and made me also do the same… As I was 6 or so I was not really aware of that what it was, However, I had a dejavu to that feeling I experienced as a toddler.

that kind of feeling made me even more curious so he has introduced me to the “fap intercourse” since than I started doing it every time I felt bored or so..

One or to years have passed and another friend of my family s son. wanted to do the same. so we did it in between playing computer games together. I remember that one day when I came into his mouth and he swallowed it. For my self, it was not a feeling of “love” but more of doing something forbidden, which is always interested especially for 9 or 10 years old.

Afterwards, as many of my age I discovered Internet porn and faped day and night. I remember on a calls trip in the 3rd grade where we did a fap session with 10 boys or so….

That was also that trip where I was nearly about to deflower that one girl and were watched by others and nearly caught by the teacher where I was about to enter it. Afterward, we tried it some more times but every time I was about to break through my or her mum entered the room and we jumped off and pretended to just to chat.

Decades have passed and because of my business, I tried to compensate my 0 love life with fap. Which I did during studying for exams and other studies

What I have not realized was that because of it my remarks just dropped down because I was horny 24/7. Last year my hornyness reached a peak where I was bored with watching normal porn I switched to same-sex and bisexual porn. And the thought of being penetrated made me even hornier.

So I started with finger picking and end up with putting even bigger bottles inside. Thorough the intercourses I did feel pain. However, I continued as I believed that somewhere is also the pleasure that I am searching for. Though the pleaser was really rare but more intense than normal fap intercourse. When I moved alone for a while I reached there the peak of horniness. So I did my research where can I get a dig for small money in cologne. And I found one gay bath with the dark moon.

To have less pain, I practice widening my anus that even my fist could fits in so I knew I was prepared for the new adventure. I could not concentrate from the thought to “get penetrated”.

Finally, I decided to walk form colognes station straight to the bath. There was a no woman allowed entrance with a door. As curious I am I have asked about the condoms and everything…

As excited I was been penetrated, I was aware of not getting HIV at the first place. So I was given a towel and key for a locker. I was also told I can stay from Friday till Monday morning, btw. I was planning to stay overnight.

I pulled all my clothes off and entered the bar on the ground floor... It was a little bit dark so I could not see much without my glasses. So I asked where the bath is. I was told to get down but I returned and asked again and then I found it. After it, I went down to the “dark moon”

It was dark it could not see much. So I decided to go to the next whirlpool and relax before going there for what I was there. going through the corridors of the Darkmoon you could watch gay porno videos on screens which were on the walls. then I finally decided to go to the wet sauna

It was as sauna with an labyrinth inside… Inside I could already hear the voices of moaning males and spanking sounds. My heart was about to explode. My core said to go back home but my horniness said to me you have already payed the entrance and you live only once so do not have regrets. When I entered it I just have seen a man with a huge one which makes me a little bit fearfully...

walking through that labyrinth I encountered many guys which waited for a huge one as I was touched there and with the gesture you can pass by…

At some corners, you could see that somebody already enjoyed the intercourse. It was the first time I have seen it live… The next than I was afraid and get back to the entrance to the labyrinth… Left from me I could see the darkest room. Slowly but surely I went there even I have kind of fear of darkness…

Suddenly I could see some silhouettes of some 5 or more guys standing there in the corner enjoying the intercourse. I went back again to grasp a condom and put it on (I was still a virgin with both sexes at that point) so it was the first time I put a condom on. Then I entered that room…

My whole body was shivering I know I am doing something wrong but at the same time I know I had to go through it to say “no” to my horniness towards same-sex intercourses. I was shy as hell, but I have seen that If I do not show some “sense of enjoyment” they will leave me alone and I am there where I started… That is what I definitely recognized that if you do not want to have with that person intercourse that person will leave you alone.

So I entered it and got touched… you can not see the faces but you can feel the hands all around your body. Someone went down to suck me, and others have recognized the size of my hole and stuck his inside of me...

It was a really small one so I have not recognized it at all. After several minutes someone who had fun with kissing me and liking up my whole body, whispered to me to go to the cabin...

So we picked up our towels and slippers and went through the dark moon to the cabins. Luckily one cabin was open and we entered it. The cabin was dark with a leather bed or so immediately I have checked if there are enough condoms as HIV is not what I am here for. And before he even started I asked him to put it on. But he said that there is foreplay so he first put made myself lying upside down and he liked my anus, that my dig and also my whole body and kissed me. Then he asked me do you want to get penetrated small guy? And I answered that is what I am here.

So he went for more condoms. Immediately you blew me and started he act. The cabin had a lube dispenser so he took a ton of lube and tried to widen my hole. After a while he said to me that 1 in 1000 are blowing digs with a condom so he asked me to put it off. Then he asked me If I knew the 69 so we did it for a while to get he stiffen. After several minutes of blowing and he also picked the hole he asked to put me upside down again to penetrate me really deeply.

It felts first amazing but the thing is his wasn’t that big so I felt it just little but so there was no pain involved at all. after several minutes I asked him to change the position, and it was also ok. What I have recognized that riding myself and doggy was the most fun position.

After 2 or even 3 hours of my first intercourse he was K.O but I wanted more. So I went for the next try…

However, I have recognized a slightly pain in my stomach that I tried to overcome in the whirlpool after several minutes there I went back to the steam sauna and directly in that darkest corner…

This time I was more hyped so I was more aggressively approaching guys by sucking their digs and fingering them and kissing. Till I got a Russian guy who gladly followed me to the cabin… After taking some condoms we went to the same room as cabin as before and I just sucked his huge dig… It was so big that his glans penis bearly fit into my mouth after a while I have ridden it for a while which was fun but after we changed some positions, he penetrated myself so deeply that I thought my stomach would explode.

I did directly said sorry and ended everything and even went to the station immediately from where I got home at 3 am or so…

reflecting all that what happen to me in that gay sauna. I can just say it is good that I have been there to know that it is nothing for me. Honestly, no matter how gentle the first partner was, I came but I did not get my dig stiff because I simply like girls, not boys. Throughout the intercourse, I have felled nothing because I was imaging myself to be one of this porn actress who is crazy for intercourse. And the real reason is why I have blown digs were, they have blown my too…

The fun that I had was just the hype doing something inappropriate and nothing else…

Because of that adventure, I am now watching after girls even more than before, which is a plus for myself.

So what does that all have together with procrastination?

well my horniness and my addiction towards the fap culture was the reason I went so far and even risked to get HIV infection, which is procrastination on my own life.

Hope you got some insight through my vulnerable story how far can fap destroy your life.

and as always reshaper :

do not lie to yourself and pursue your passion, now.

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