Many of you might not be conscious about, but lying can be a form of Procrastination.
When we go back to the definition of procrastination “enlargement of the distance between current self and the “Why”, the purpose or the “future self”, we notice that there are small patterns which are bringing us to lie to ourselves or to other people.
However, these small patterns (which you can find out using the “chained why question“) are often unrecognizable by ourselves. Especially when you are used to lying these patterns are going into your subconscious mind and running “autopilot” from it. But what does make us lie to ourselves or to others? If you track down all the negative feelings until it`s core, you will always encounter “fear” as the end result.
Yes, again every feeling that has a negative impact on us starts with fear. After the core-feeling has been established in us and as our brain is preventing us from pain rather than giving us pleasure, we are twice as receptive towards it and begin to the evolution of “Fear” unconsciously in our brain. Once this is done, our brain is giving us signals what is the best protective solution. When this solution is a lie, there you got the first spiral of madness.
In the book “Radical Honesty” Brand Bolton Ph.D. has written, that most diseases have it`s the root of lying to partners or to themselves.
In other words, when we do lie (especially) to ourselves, we are amplifying the risk to get a certain disease. Therefore we do “procrastinate on our health”. This is the worst case scenario you might think however, this one pattern can also expand on the health of your relatives and loved one. Of course, If a sketchy stranger says: “give me your account number”. You have to lie to protect yourself. But what we can do is to start to be honest with our parents and our loved one in the first place and tell them (however embarrassing it might be) detail of your life, even the “things we are sometimes doing when we are alone at home“. You might say that it might hurt them but in reality, you will find a lot of mutuality that you become freer that you let out those “small things” out of your “lies arsenal”.
Moreover, what we can do is to prevent lying situations. E.g. the “give me your credit card number” example. What we can do here is when you know in advance you are going to a sketchy district so you might meet those people, you can simply leave your credit card at home, so you do not have to lie to that stranger.
So what can I personally suggest to start with is: becoming conscious of lying patterns and trying to prevent them.
Hope you got some value form it
And as always:
Do not lie yo yourself and pursue your passion, now!
By Alex Spaet